Chapter 16

Chapter 16. Let’s Read Books, Books, Books

A chill ran down my spine.

Jeong Jiho.

Why hadn’t I brought that child out? Why had I left the child behind? I knew perfectly well they were there. How could I do that? How could I, of all people? No matter how much I. How dare I. No matter how much of a piece of trash I was. Since when had I become this much of a—

I.

I was…….

“Mr. Seon Yuhan? Why are you suddenly breathing like that……?”

I promised. At least, I promised I would never become that kind of adult. I swore. I swore I would not become an adult who pretended not to see a child who needed help.

“Mr. Seon Yuhan?”

Yes, Seon Yuhan.

On those three syllables of my name.

I had definitely said so.

Only then did I barely come to my senses and open my mouth.

“Ms. Hwang Juyeon.”

I.

Did I really.

“Did we not stop by the daycare center first?”

Had I really left that child behind?

“Mm? No? But why are you suddenly—”

“—The reading club participants read their respective books.”

“Ugh, can we not even talk for a second? How strict.”

Hwang Juyeon, who had looked bewildered, grumbled, then lowered her eyes to her book.

Yes. Just as Hwang Juyeon said, we had not gone to the daycare center. Not this time.

No matter how much I retraced it, I had no such memory.

But that made no sense.

I.

I knew there was a child being punished in that daycare center, like a giant music-box doll.

There was no way I would have skipped that place and come straight to the library.

“You son of a—”

I barely swallowed the rest.

This was it.

My memory had been erased. Definitely.

I did not know exactly why it had been erased.

But if I had to guess, it was probably a penalty. A penalty for failing to follow the library’s instructions.

“Ms. Hwang Juyeon, do you happen to remember a child named Jeong Jiho among the children at the daycare center?”

“Uh……. Well. I don’t remember every single child one by one……. What should we do? Was there really a child you knew there? Once we get out of here, let’s go check right away……!”

Yes. I needed to end this damned reading club or whatever it was as quickly as possible and go check.

And to end the reading club, I had no choice but to read the book.

[Kim Gilyoung stared blankly out the window. Pure white snow scattered like flower petals. As if celebrating her birthday. But that only made Kim Gilyoung feel lonelier. Being used to it did not mean she was all right.]

As expected, reading a story that laid bare every detail of another person’s life was uncomfortable.

And it was uncomfortable for someone to read my life too.

“The reading club participants read their respective books.”

I looked at the freelance mage to my right.

How far had she read by now?

What point in my life was she reading?

Even if she read me, she would not be able to understand me.

Unless she became me, she would not be able to accept it.

She might know about me, but she would not be able to trust me.

Understanding was an illusion, acceptance was deception, and faith was nothing more than a misunderstanding.

It is not a misunderstanding ellipsis it is a misunderstanding period that is what I mean period that feeling I mean exclamation point it is a misunderstanding period that feeling I mean exclamation point that finger I mean comma that gaze I mean comma it must be purified period that tool I mean comma the flesh I mean period I mean me period could you please just spare—

“The reading club participants read their respective books.”

“Mr. Seon Yuhan.”

My vision spun…… the black letters written in the book wriggled. I should have killed it. Leech-like! They crawled through my whole body from the fingertips holding the pages. Sticky! I wanted to tear them off, disgusting things, even if I had to peel off my skin. My hands, I wanted to wash them clean. I should have died. Please, just for today—

“The reading club participants read their respective books.”

“Mr. Seon Yuhan……!”

“Yes?”

Kim Gilyoung suddenly called me in an urgent voice, so I raised my head.

“Are you feeling unwell? It looked like you could not read the book…….”

“Ah.”

When I looked down, the paper beneath my hand was crying. Miserably crumpled.

For some reason, I thought it resembled the librarian.

That face with furrowed brows, on the verge of tears.

“I am sorry. I just became nervous a little late. I could not focus. Thank you for telling me.”

Would I have died again if it had torn and the book had been completely damaged?

Thinking that, I turned my gaze back to the book.

[During the final vacation of high school, Kim Gilyoung suddenly missed her middle school friends and searched for the online class café that her homeroom teacher had made for the class back then. It was not easy even to log in, because she could not remember the password for the portal site she had accessed for the first time in ages.

‘What was the name of your closest friend in elementary school?’

Kim Gilyoung recalled a memory as vivid as yesterday. A friend whose dimples when she smiled from time to time were charming, and whose face was so fair she looked like a child who had never seen sunlight. Hong Donghee. Kim Gilyoung entered the answer without difficulty.

The banner of the café she finally entered was a group photo of the class from back then. The last post on the board was from two years earlier. It was a post where the children, after their high school placements were finished, each wrote the name of their high school in the comments and promised, “Let’s gather as third-year class thirteen again.”]

Even if it was hard to read, I had to read.

Because that was the rule.

Because rules had to be followed.

A child who did not follow them was a bad child.

[Kim Gilyoung slowly glided between the empty bookshelves. Robert Louis Stevenson’s 《Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde》, Kurt Vonnegut’s 《Timequake》, Haruki Murakami’s 《Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World》, Marcel Proust’s 《In Search of Lost Time》, Miguel de Unamuno’s 《Mist》……. She stroked the spine of each and every book. Stopping before an empty space on the shelf, Kim Gilyoung inserted a novel by C. S. Lewis. Secretly taking out and reading a book she had loved most as a child, but which no longer had any demand among the company library’s users, was a librarian’s privilege.]

The letters entered my eyes, but immediately bounced away.

I simply could not concentrate.

[The lights of Book Bang Ollae went out.]

I somehow forced myself to keep reading, and stopped at this part.

It seemed this was where Jaerae Building became a Labyrinth.

The very next line said this.

[※The completed story ends here. The story beyond this chapter is currently in progress, and viewing is not recommended.※]

I glared at that sentence for a long while, then closed the book and raised my head.

Kim Gilyoung, who had read Hwang Juyeon’s story, had already closed her book, and Hwang Juyeon still had a few pages left.

If stories after Labyrinthization could not be read, then at least Hwang Juyeon would not know that I had fallen into a loop.

Though at this point, what use was it for her not to know only that?

“All participants have finished reading their respective books.”

Before long, once even Hwang Juyeon closed her book, the ghostlike voice of the library rang out again.

“From now on, participants freely share their impressions of the books and introduce the books they read. However, spoilers that interfere with appreciation will be censored.”

“Censored?”

It was an ominous expression.

Did it mean we could not give spoilers? Or that giving them was fine, but they would be blocked midway?

“We do not know what disadvantage there might be, so we should be careful when we speak for now.”

For a while, the three of us only watched one another in silence.

It was only natural to be afraid to speak first in a situation where one wrong word might get us killed.

“I.”

But.

“After reading Ms. Kim Gilyoung’s story…….”

Without taking a step, one could not move forward.

***

“There was something I wondered while reading. Whether Ms. Kim Gilyoung’s favorite book as a child was 《Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland》, or 《The Chronicles of Narnia》—”

“Mr. Seon Yuhan, I think that is a spoiler. I cannot understand what you are saying. I do not think you need to talk about that part.”

At Hwang Juyeon’s remark, I paused for a moment and cleared my throat at the same time.

Apparently, spoilers being censored meant that the content containing spoilers was automatically filtered.

It was a relief I did not have to pay with my life for a spoiler.

But what about her favorite childhood book counted as a spoiler?

First, it said she opened the closet after reading ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,’ and later it said she had loved a novel by C. S. Lewis the most.

1. S. Lewis meant ‘The Chronicles of Narnia.’ ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ was Lewis Carroll.

Since it had been when she was young, she might have been confused, or her favorite book might simply have changed later, but no matter how I thought about it, was that really content that should be censored?

I did not understand the criteria for spoilers.

“Mr. Seon Yuhan?”

“Ah. Yes. In any case, personally, I thought Ms. Kim Gilyoung was…….”

The book containing Kim Gilyoung’s story was difficult to discuss at length or properly introduce.

It was partly because I had failed to concentrate properly, but honestly, there were no particularly memorable, interesting incidents in Kim Gilyoung’s life.

“I envy you.”

I knew how ridiculous it was to peek at only one fragment of someone without truly knowing them and envy them for it.

But in any case, I only envied that fragment. It was not as if I wanted all the pieces.

“Mm, uh, thank…… you?”

The librarian raised the end of her words uncertainly as she thanked me, her eyes shifting.

“Since Mr. Seon Yuhan introduced my story, um, I feel like it is my turn now……. I read Ms. Hwang Juyeon’s book here…….”

Kim Gilyoung spoke hesitantly and cautiously, then gradually became absorbed in talking about her impressions and began pouring them out in a rush.

“But do you not like the piano much anymore?”

“No. It is not that I dislike it. I simply no longer have the same passion I had at my peak.”

From what I heard, Hwang Juyeon seemed to like herself more as the freelance mage she had chosen later than as a piano instructor.

Apparently, whenever she introduced herself by adding that her main job was being a piano instructor, she somehow felt as if she was making excuses for herself.

“The reason you became lapsed was painful too……. A child from the same church went missing, so how could they say things like that…….”

“Well, it was not exactly because of that one thing. Memories like that kept piling up. Honestly, it is not as if I am a saint either. I do not even remember that child’s name very well.”

In any case, Hwang Juyeon was also an ordinary person.

So ordinary it was hard to accept that she was the prime suspect in the librarian murder case.

“Garbled, incomprehensible sounds!”

The sound of a censored spoiler was completely impossible to understand, as if the audio had been backmasked.

Could there be a secret in that spoiler that would reveal the motive for the murder case?

But I was not a detective, and if no one had died, there was no need for me to step forward and solve it.

And…….

I looked at Hwang Juyeon with my mouth shut.

The moment Hwang Juyeon met my eyes, she naturally looked away. Like someone who knew something.

No, like someone who knew it far too well.

Some stories were better left unknown.

***

“The reading club has ended.”

The three of us held our breath and waited for the next line.

But no more sound came.

“What is this. Is it really over? Over? Really?”

“I-I think so…….”

“Wow…….”

Hwang Juyeon slumped on the sofa as if all the strength had drained out of her body and let out a long sigh, then immediately sprang up like a spring.

“Then let us leave, quickly!”

Even without her saying so, I had already reached the door.

“Please…….”

I clasped both hands around the doorknob as if praying.

Then pushed with all my strength.

Slide―.

“Huh.”

The door opened smoothly. There was no clunking sensation at all, as if something were blocking it.

“It opened! It opened!”

Hwang Juyeon hugged Kim Gilyoung and bounced in place.

I held the door tightly in case it closed and took one step out.

This was the first time I was glad to see this sickening second-floor corridor.

“Uh, uh…….”

Hwang Juyeon, who followed me out, seemed to feel similarly and smiled with a subtle expression, then turned around at the librarian’s voice.

“Ms. Gilyoung, what are you doing? Why are you not coming out?”

“Ms. Kim Gilyoung……?”

The librarian stood behind the wide-open library threshold.

As if there were an invisible transparent wall there, she was striking the empty air with both hands.

“I, I cannot get out……!”

Something had gone wrong.