Chapter 53

Chapter 53. "What the Dead Feel Toward the Dying." 13

Rene, Rene spoke while crying.

As I watched her, my own mood began to feel strange as well.

I raised my hand to wipe away the tears running down her cheeks.

However, Rene released the hand that had been holding my head and slapped my hand aside.

SLAP!

I rubbed the back of the hand she had struck and smiled bitterly.

Then Rene wiped away her tears with her lips pressed tightly together.

“You… hhh! Ahem, you… what is your name?”

Her voice was mixed with tears. It was quiet, but it trembled slightly.

After hearing her words, I smiled with my eyes.

“My name is Han Reed Kalmarion.”

Rene quietly listened as she wiped away her tears.

Then she lowered her body, held my head against her chest, closed her mouth, and shut her eyes.

I had long since given up trying to identify what was continuing to flow from the corners of her eyes.

“……”

“You were worried about me, weren’t you?”

Her head nodded up and down.

I raised both arms and gently wrapped them around her neck.

“I am sorry. I said I would not make you cry, but I made you cry anyway. Do you hate me?”

Sadly, her head nodded up and down.

Still held upside down in her arms, I gave her a small bitter smile.

“Even so, do not cry like that, honey. When you cry, I become sad too. Do you not think it looks rather unsightly when a man cries?”

Rene said nothing in response to my quiet joke.

She merely held me and pressed her forehead against my chest.

At that reaction from her, I also stopped trying to offer words of comfort.

I decided to simply let Rene do whatever she wanted to do right now.

After quite a while, Rene’s body moved a little, and she raised her upper body.

When I looked carefully at Rene’s face, I could not find anything especially different about her, aside from the fact that her eyes were red.

After sitting up like that, Rene once again looked down at me in silence.

I took that to mean I could now sit up, so I straightened myself and sat facing Rene.

Only now did I realize that her face was a mess.

Because of her tears, the dust that had rubbed off from my chest had stuck all over her face, making her clean white cheeks dirty.

I quietly looked at her cheeks, then rummaged through my pocket and took out a handkerchief.

Then I brought it toward her face.

In that instant, Rene’s forehead wrinkled vertically a little, and her hand shot in fiercely from the side toward the hand holding the handkerchief.

Does that mean she refuses to accept me?

When I saw that, I smiled faintly.

TAP!

I raised my other hand and caught her flying wrist.

At that, Rene’s forehead wrinkled even more, and she tried to pull her arm free, but I did not let go of her hand.

After a brief, absurd contest of strength, I let out a sigh, grabbed Rene’s arm, and pulled her hard toward me.

Naturally, she fell toward me.

With a flustered expression, she fell toward me—or rather, was pulled toward me—and buried her face in my chest.

Up to this point, it had been intentional, and neither of us said anything.

I released Rene’s wrist and stroked the back of her head as she was held against my chest. She was only pressing her forehead against me, but I wanted to think of it that way.

Then, just as the grip of Rene’s hands, which were clutching my shoulders while her face was buried in my chest, seemed to tighten, a cold voice came from below.

“Move your hand.”

There was only one thing I could say here.

“I do not want to.”

Rene closed her mouth after hearing my answer.

A moment later, her voice came again.

“I told you to move it.”

“I refuse.”

This brought back memories.

“If you do not move it, I will cut off your wrist.”

“If you can cut it off, then try. In case you have forgotten, I will tell you now. If you cut off my hand, you are the only one who will be sad.”

“Sad? Do not make me laugh. You promised you would not make me cry, and then you took me. Yet who was it who made me show my tears just now? You broke your promise.”

Rene spoke while being held in my arms, and I continued stroking her hair as I listened.

This was the kind of conversation she and I had only exchanged when we first met.

It seemed she was truly furious.

To think Rene would reveal her original temperament.

“I am sorry about that. I did not know things would turn out this way either. I did not want to do that, but my body reacted on its own.”

“So? Are you asking me to understand that? Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a reason. Regardless of the reason, you must never make me show tears. So what is this situation now?”

I stopped stroking Rene’s head, raised both hands, held her in my arms, and lowered my head.

“I am truly sorry.”

“Shut up. You can say such things with your mouth as much as you want. Among the ugly habits of you humans, what I hate most is the way you beg forgiveness for your wrongdoings with words alone.

You know that, do you not? I did not like the way you apologized for your mistakes, but even so, I simply smiled and let it pass. First of all, you and I are of different races, and on top of that, you are the man I chose, so I could overlook that much.

But that does not mean your apologetic heart reaches me. Do you think words alone are enough? Show me through your actions if you are sorry. Die here and now! I will follow you.”

She was serious.

After all, elves did not say such things merely to frighten someone halfheartedly.

I felt a sense of defeat, but that did not change my answer.

I lifted my head, looked at the crown of Rene’s head, and opened my mouth.

“I do not want to abandon my beautiful and gentle wife, nor this world that makes her beauty shine even more. I want to live. Together with you, the first person who taught me love.”

“So you are saying you do not want to beg for forgiveness.”

I smiled bitterly.

As expected, clumsy words like that did not work on her.

So I honestly nodded.

“Let us say that is the case. So what will you do? Will you kill me?”

Rene’s two hands, which had been resting on my shoulders, slowly slid downward.

Was she trying to wipe away her tears?

But that was only my misunderstanding. It seemed she had something else in mind.

Rene’s hands moved down toward her waist and grasped the hilt of her longsword.

At the same time, Rene’s body, which had been held against my chest, sprang backward.

Having moved away from me like that, Rene glared at me with a cold face.

I quietly looked at her with my hands spread slightly to the sides.

Before long, Rene’s lips parted slightly.

“If you are sorry, then die. If you cannot do that, then I will question your wrongdoing in my own way.”

I smiled softly and shook my head.

At that, Rene bared her teeth and drew her longsword at tremendous speed.

There was not much distance between her and me. At most, about the length of one arm?

It was close enough that she could reach me just by stretching her hand a little farther.

I did not hear anything like the sound of being cut.

There was only the cold gleam of the longsword rising just above my face, and the hot red liquid that followed it upward.

Around us, the Huria turned their heads with startled faces.

The Lizard Men receiving treatment did the same.

However, Exel and Kan, who had been quietly eavesdropping on our conversation from behind, did not look particularly surprised.

You are not shaken at all?

If so, how many comrades’ deaths have you seen?

As I fell backward, a cleanly severed white bandage fluttered up into the air, then sank weakly back down.

And between it, I saw Rene’s round, wide-open eyes staring at me with a deathly pale face.

Even when you look that startled, you are truly beautiful.

I am a lucky man.

After all, I married a beautiful elf wife of noble character and lived happily, even if only for a short while.

Haah… I can see the sky.

Although half of it is hidden by the tree branches.

I was looking up at the sky and grinning loosely when it happened.

The blue sky, tinged slightly red because it was evening, seemed to ripple with golden waves, and then Rene’s snow-white face appeared.

Perhaps she thought I had gone deaf, because she called my name in an extremely loud voice.

“Haaaaaan!”

---

Han lay flat on the ground.

Then Rene dropped her longsword over his body and scrambled on top of him in a panic.

Rene called his name, but Han only grinned and gave no other answer.

Rene desperately thought. No, she tried to think.

She tried to recall the spell for the healing magic Heal.

However, because of her panic, fear, and a small amount of regret, her mind was spinning far more frantically than necessary.

Because of that, it took her a little time to remember the magic spell she had first learned when she was twenty years old.

And the moment she remembered the spell, Rene felt something stir somewhere in her chest. With her stiffening tongue, she barely managed to recite it.

As she pressed down on the wound with her hand, she looked at the pure white light gathering in her palm.

Then she turned her head, slowly brought it toward his chest, and prayed desperately.

‘El Rantra, who cares for the elves and the forest, please. Save my husband. I tried to forgive him, but I simply could not. It seems that I, too, want to remain in this beautiful world together with him.

Although I am an abandoned child, please do not turn away from the wish of this foolish child who still remembers your name.

Even if it was only for an instant, I cannot bear to see him silently accept my twisted decision without saying anything.

He is the kind of person who would not fear even death if it were my request. Knowing that his wife wished for his death, he will not try to live even after being wounded.

So please. Save him, this pitiful man. Please help him, who was wounded and continues to suffer because of me.’

As she prayed like that, Rene pressed her palm, which was shining with white light, against Han’s chest and rubbed it.

Wherever her hand passed, the wound that had been gushing blood slowly stopped bleeding and began to close.

At that sight, Rene barely held back the tears that were about to burst out again and continued treating Han’s chest.

A short while later, Han opened his eyes and looked somewhat bewildered when he saw Rene hugging him and sobbing loudly.

However, given his personality, he did not tell her to move away because of what had just happened, nor did he press her by asking what was going on. It was not a situation where he could do so anyway.

He simply raised his hand and warmly embraced his wife, who was crying in a way that was not at all elf-like.

Meanwhile, Exel and Kan, who were watching them from the front, quietly opened their mouths and exchanged their impressions.

“They say a husband and wife’s quarrel is like cutting water with a knife. Seeing this, I think I understand what that means.”

“I cannot understand. How can she do such a thing? If she says she will forgive him, then, why cut him, with a sword, and, then, heal him, again? Did, you, not, say, those two, are, companions? Should, companions, not, cherish their companions, more than anyone? Then, what does, that, elf’s, action, mean? I don't know.”

At Kan’s words, Exel looked at his profile and smiled.

“You Lizard Men are both male and female in one body, unlike the people here, are you not? So it is only natural that you do not understand.

And it would take more than ten days to explain something like that, so do not give yourself a headache over it. Just accept that such things happen. If I get the chance, I will teach you.”

Kan sat on the ground, touched his bandaged arm, and nodded.

Then they turned their heads again and looked at the human man, who was sweating as he tried to soothe the elf woman crying like a child.

---

Rene came into my arms and began sobbing loudly.

Around us, the Lizard Men and Huria were staring at us with expressions that said they were witnessing an extremely rare sight.

A crying elf was rare.

Especially an elf crying like a human.

Rene, who had been sitting on the ground, holding me and crying continuously, suddenly stopped crying and lifted her head to look at me.

Then, blinking the tears pooled in her eyes and squeezing them out, she spoke in a voice thick with tears.

“Sob, you could not even dodge that? Hic, hhh! You just stood there and took it? Hic, ugh, if you had blocked it, you would not have been hurt this badly. You would not have gotten a scar either.”

“No, listen, Rene. More importantly, the people watching right now…”

“I-I thought you were going to die. Hhh. Do you know how worried I was? Ugh, uaaah~ Honey, I am truly sorry. Sob~ I was wrong. Uaaah~”

Then why did you swing the sword, honey? If you were going to cut me and then heal me anyway.

Oh, honey, stop crying. All right?

Whether she knew what I was feeling or not, she lowered her head again and began crying with soft whimpers.

I decided to soothe Rene, no matter what kind of stares the people around us sent our way.

The problem was how to soothe her.

I had only seen Rene cry like this a few times. What am I supposed to do?

When I turned my head, Exel and Kan seemed to be talking about something over there.

But when did I have time to care about that right now?

“H-honey? Rene? Do not cry. All right? I was wrong. I mean it. Ah, you said you hated it when I only apologized with words, did you not?

Then tell me what you want. I will do anything. So please, do not cry. You are making me feel strange too.”

“Sob, I-I am sorry, sniff, sob! I am a bad woman… hic.”

“You are not bad. Even looking at Irisa’s case, it was only natural for you to be angry. I will not say anything about that, so please, do not cry. All right? Rene.”

I spoke while wiping Rene’s face and tears with my handkerchief.

When I wiped her face, Rene swallowed her sobs like a child, then closed her eyes and stayed still as I worked.

However, once I had finished wiping her face, she began crying again as though that had not helped in the slightest.

Aaaah~ El Rantra!

“Hic… sniff, a woman who is not bad stabs her husband in the chest, sniff, with a sword? Yes? Tell me. I have no right. Hic, ugh, ueeeng…”

“That is not how you should speak. Where did you learn that way of talking?”

“I am sorry. Sob. I will not do it again.”

“It is all right. I am begging you, please do not cry. Look, everyone is staring at you as though you are a careless elf who cannot act her age.”